TESTIMONIALS

What’s the reason for the horny-as-hell band name?

Take it as you like, it means anything from the Japanese cuisine for cooking animal innards to the sensation of the maximum amount of your hormones coming to the boil! Although when we go abroad people think we’re just some sorta sexual energy drink (LOL). Oh by the way, please could we cut the sex talk for today?

What the hell did you think this interview was all about?

A PR thing – kind of like a boy-band interview? No, really, I’m super shy; you’re gonna make me cry if you delve too deep (LOL)

So your first masturbation experience came pretty late?

Laughing, “Not really! In fact I was still in the 3rd grade when I first found out about the word “Masturbation”. My big sister Nao (also a member of the band) loved cleaning her ears – always had a q-tip stuck in one ear – and our mom would get mad and say “You don’t like cleaning your ears – what you’re doing is just masturbation!” The first time I heard that I dashed into my dad’s room, looked it up in the encyclopedia, which in turn told me words I had to look up in the dictionary…

When did you really “find out” what it meant?

“Fourth grade (LOL)

That early?! Well that makes me want to ask – how’s your masturbatory life now?
Your music is highly charged and energetic; I guess your masturbation is the same?

The exact opposite – it’s like doom rock, complete downers man (lol). For example when I had one of those “chance-days” when I’m home alone, I think of a manga I read once that depicted a character going insane from a constant drip of water on his forehead. I then apply that to my masturbation technique; in a consistent, constant rhythm I drop pieces of tissue paper on my dick. That’s it… Just as I think I’m about to go crazy, a weird switch goes off in my head and I got the biggest boner! It ended up getting really ticklish in the end, and I didn’t cum – in fact for the first time in my life, I squirted like a girl! (LOL)

(LOL) Don’t tell me your masturbation is like that when you’re writing lyrics for your songs too?!

When I’m making music, I’m out in the mountains, alone – just instruments and my laptop. Oh, I don’t make music on my laptop by the way; they’re packed full of porn though! I don’t smoke, so when most people will pull out a cigarette for a little break, I just “pull one out”!

Just as I’d expect from a rock-band lead vocalist! Ryo-kun I bet you’d be able to play some sick notes with a TENGA too!

TENGA sounds are realistic too, so when I’m at home, I jump into the sound-proof vocal booth and rock out with a TENGA!

[“Rolling Stone 2010, Dec. Edi. SHAKE★TENGA”]